Couple Sleeping Positions and What They Mean

We all sleep, but did you know that the way you and your partner sleep says a lot about who you are as a couple? Our subconscious mind tends to control how we sleep with our partner. This sleep position can predict the status of the relationship quite accurately. 

Unless you sleep like a starfish, or you’re a sleep kicker or loud snorer, you can’t blame your partner for relaxing away from you. So, take a look at these clues you can get from your sleeping style. If you’re having trouble with sleep, make sure to check out some mattresses for couples as well.

Spoon Position

Sleeping in a spoon position, closely tied with your partner, usually means that you’re in a brand new relationship, and you can’t get enough of one another. We started our list with this position because the spooning meaning is pretty straightforward and self-explanatory. 

When you’re with someone new and exciting, you can’t help but show how excited you are to be with and around them, so you barely give them enough space to breathe. It’s a physical manifestation of the fact that you can’t get enough of this new person. 

There’s nothing wrong with sleeping like this in a new relationship, or in an old one for that matter, but it’s likely to progress into something a bit different over time.

Loose Spoon

As we just mentioned, the tight spoon position tends to progress into something slightly different over time, and this is precisely what we meant. This is a position in which you retain the spoon shape, with one partner (the big spoon) holding the other (the little spoon). 

However, as a couple matures and gets more confident in their relationship, the spoons tend to get looser. We do this to allow ourselves a bit more space and improve our sleep quality. As cute as a tight spooning position is, it’s uncomfortable to sleep with someone breathing down your neck.

Chasing Spoon

Another variation on spooning comes in the form of what we call the Chasing Spoon. This is a position in which one partner sleeps on the very edge of their side of the bed with the other pushing against them. 

Either partner can be the chaser in this case, so if you’re the little spoon, don’t think this doesn’t apply to you. Typically, what this means is that the person who sleeps at the edge of the bed likes to have more personal space, or likes to be chased, while their partner prefers to get close and be the chaser.

Tangle Position

This one is most often seen after an emotional encounter, such as sex or snuggles. It’s a position in which both partners face each other while sleeping on their sides, with their arms and legs intertwined and locked in a tight embrace. 

If you’ve ever tried this, you know that it doesn’t lead to anything close to optimal sleep, and even the best mattress in the world’s going to make this position comfortable. However, people still tend to do it from time to time, which signals that we tend to throw logic and comfort out of the window where love is concerned.

 

Unraveling Knot

The first item on this list that isn’t as much a position, as it is a progression. What we mean by this is that the Unravelling Knot starts as the tangle position, but unravels, as its name suggests, during the period when the partners start drifting off to sleep. It ends with the partners each sleeping on their side of the bed comfortably, resting in their preferred sleeping position. 

This position is probably one of the best combinations you can get since it signifies both love and affection, as well as trust and confidence. And it lets you get some quality sleep as a bonus.

One Partner Dominates the Bed

If you’re spreading out all over the bed with no regard to where your partner is, you might want to start thinking about your relationship. This position – sometimes referred to as The Space Hog, is a problematic one, since one partner always ends up cowering on the edge of the bed while the other has all the space they could ever want. 

The problem with it is that it indicates a power struggle in the relationship, and means that one partner is getting more than they are putting in. This partner is likely the dominant one in the relationship, while the other has taken on a more submissive role.

Back Kissers

A position in which the partners are facing opposite directions with their backs touching is relatively standard. Sometimes it is considered a transitional position between facing each other or spooning, and the next one on our list, which is sleeping independently on either side of the bed. 

There’s a common variation to this position, sometimes referred to as ‘The Moon Landing,’ in which partner’s butts are touching while they face away from one another. Either one of these variations doesn’t usually last forever since partners tend to look for more personal space as the relationship progresses.

Independent Lovers

This is a cute name for a position in which each partner sleeps independently on their side of the bed. Generally, this position is considered to be one in which both partners respect each-others personal space. This doesn’t mean that the couple is not in love or that the partners don’t care about each other. 

A lot of couples like to snuggle before turning around and drifting apart to get good sleep without interruptions. However, if you’re usually a snuggly sleeper, sleeping alone can signify danger or a red flag. Experts believe that it is better to time your snuggles before your sound sleep or before getting out of bed. This will encourage better sleep.

Facing Each Other but Don’t Touch

This position is one that’s a bit difficult to figure out since it is a variation on a few different ones. If you’re sleeping this way, it could mean that you like to be close and intimate with your partner, but you want to have a bit more personal space, which is perfectly fine and results in higher quality sleep. 

It means that you have an excellent overall atmosphere and understanding in your relationship. It could also say, however, that something is lacking, and you need more from your partner, but you are incapable of communicating your desires properly.

Head on Your Partner’s Chest

The sweetest sleeping position for couples out there has one partner resting their head and arm on the other’s chest, with their legs intertwined. Couples who prefer this position have a lot of teamwork and trust between them, and this position represents romance and protection. 

It is a huge favorite among new couples and those who have had their relationship recently rekindled. The partner who sleeps on their back in this position sends the message of protection, self-assurance, and confidence, while the other partner is appreciative of the love while remaining capable of being independent.

Leg Hug

This is another one that’s a bit unclear since it can signify many things. If only one partner is initiating the leg hug, it could mean that they are craving more of a connection, similar to the Chasing Spoon. Experts sometimes refer to legs as the ‘most honest’ part of the body, since they are the first to react in a fight or flight situation, so this theory has some merit. 

If you’re both equally invested in the hug, however, that shows you’re equally passionate about the relationship. This usually means that the sexual and emotional connection between you is secure.

Both Partners Sleeping on their Stomach

This position may indicate some fear and angst in the relationship. If the partners are not touching either, it could signify a lack of sexual trust as well as some anxiety about one another. Couples who fall asleep in this position might want to consider talking about their feelings and the issues they may be facing. 

Sleeping on one’s stomach is considered to signal a desire to protect your body, so there’s a good reason to suspect vulnerability and fear. This position is not intimate either since all of the sexual body parts are hidden away. If you are adamant about sleeping in this position; however, check out the best mattress for stomach sleepers.

Conclusion

Because body language is often considered to be a reflection of the subconscious mind, the couple sleeping positions you and your partner use can serve as a lens into your unconscious selves. That being said, it’s all entirely speculative, and the way you sleep as a couple will usually not make or break your relationship. Unless those aren’t quite comfortable sleeping positions for couples and keeps you both from having a quality good night sleep. Then it’s an entirely different matter. But it’s something you have to work on as a couple.

This guide was intended only as a way to get you thinking about some thoughts and feelings you may be having about your relationship, and sharing those feelings with your partner. You might even realize that what you needed all along was the right mattress for sex.